Maturity is a popular word when it comes to describing how people act. Some always opt to believe that it is developed through age and experience. While we have a few ideas about it, there is another word going around with it.
Dr. Nicole LePera defined emotional maturity as the ability to approach with a clear focus your life situations. You are frequently flexible and responsible about them.
LA Askew also said that emotional maturity occurs when we can express our true feelings without the need for reciprocation, validation, appreciation, or trepidation. Our senses become companions rather than enemies.
This article will explain more emotional maturity along with some tips and advice on how to develop it. Accordingly, always note that we can’t forever control things; we can act the best way.
Does age have to do with emotional maturity?
People have always thought that age magically makes someone mature. However, it is not through a switch. You can’t automatically grow up after turning 18 and receiving the adult tag.
Emotional maturity is the same; you can be anything and still not have a developed state. It is different from your physical maturity.
The idea is a skill and a habit where you need to learn and practice it. Your lifestyle must change to have an advanced emotional maturity. Everyone has these things, yet we are at different levels.
Nowadays, it is saddening to think that we have the most brilliant people, yet they have underdeveloped emotional nature. We do not have anyone to blame but society. We would rather have thinkers than holistic people.
Do not worry about the matter too much. It is easy to change, and you can still enhance your emotional state.
Habits to achieve emotional maturity
1. Be flexible in thinking
In our daily interactions with different people and situations, we are affected by them. We might not notice it, yet there will be a reaction from us. It may be loneliness, frustration, happiness, or even quick mood swings.
The results are symptoms of weak emotional maturity. The incidents sweep us, and our emotions are stimulated easily. If you can control yourself, it will be better. Pause first and think.
Be flexible in how you will react. Do you need to get angry? Perhaps, there is something else which you can do aside from it. Thoughts might be automatic, but being aware of them makes more sense.
2. Understand that your environment has influence
However, your act is not only the product of your mind. It is also influenced by the people and the context you are in. About the latter, it is the event that happened.
An example of context is your boss yelled at you when he saw you coming in late for work. Notably, it was your first ever late after working in the company for several years. You even do overtime frequently without pays.
Accordingly, there was an emergency at home where you can’t leave right away. You were supposed to explain the situation, yet he yelled at you right away.
There are many ways for you to act on the said moment. One is you will fume with anger and answer back. On the contrary, you can stop for a pause and think. Calm yourself and respond with respect.
The sample situation often happens to us in different contexts. Emotionally matured people can control these events. They can design these situations to their benefit.
For the boss, he might have had a bad situation, then you suddenly came. Do not retort with anything wrong. Instead, you can accept it and later make a letter or talk to him in person explaining your last events.
You can even tell him the extra time spent in the office. This one will add more to your credibility.
3. Know your emotions
The next thing is knowing your emotional triggers. These are the things that control your emotions. They might make you happier or lonelier. Most can make you angry too. They can be anything.
Emotionally mature individuals understand each trigger they have. When you recognize them, you can easily manipulate them to your advantage.
To help out, sit down and pause. Think deeply about the things that trigger you. List them down and make plans on how to change or to avoid each.
Some triggers have physiological effects. Be aware of them too. When a splash of sadness comes over, do you immediately cry? Does your chest constrict? Was there shortness of breath? Note them also.
Getting to know your emotions will help you face every situation better. It is your key to excellent communication with people. When you do not feel right about something, you will not act about it right away. You can facilitate the emotions.
4. Embrace the present
The present is your reality. There are a lot of people who do not understand this one. They are kept either in the past or in the future.
Your life is yours to build. Hence, emotionally mature individuals find peace in whatever they do. They accept that things were done in the past, and they can’t change it.
For the future, your present will define it. Live the best way today and do not regret anything in the future.
5. Focus and always be honest
Our lives are always filled with many people. In the future, you will meet more. You will have a lot more experiences along with them. Be open to anything, but these should be healthy.
Build your goals and focus on what are the best. Your interactions must be filled with integrity when you meet new individuals. Shake hands with firmness. Smile with sincerity. Welcome good energy.
Furthermore, live with discipline and commitment. These are the things that will matter over time.
Role modeling is a great technique when it comes to this number. When you have someone you look up to, you will strive to become like them. You will later meet people with the same interest as you. The connection will make a system. You will support and learn from one another.
Taking responsibility is one more. Because you are committed, whatever happens, is suitable for you. Acceptance is the key to everything. You will do things without regret.
An example is quitting your present job. Since before, you have always dreamed of becoming a model. Due to a dire state when you were a child, you were forced to forget it. An incident made ways for your dream again. Instead of thinking, you took the chance.
Either you fail or not, doing what makes you happy and taking responsibility will emotionally mature you. However, let us not forget that careful decision making is still a part of everything. You must weigh things first for your benefit.
6. Set healthy boundaries
Setting boundaries has been a famous quote on the web right now. It means it is okay for you to stop talking, to avoid specific individuals, and more. Mainly, it is accurate, and we can do it anytime.
You build boundaries when you want to protect yourself from external mental and physically draining things, such as social media. There are so many things on it now. Most are unhealthy.
Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and others have been platforms to showcase harmful obsession for perfection nowadays. Most people post perfect things, and we forget that these could be unreal.
Emotional maturity stems from understanding what can make you better. If you know something is wrong, stay away. Surround yourself with loving and motivating people and perspectives.