Breaking up with a significant other is never an easy journey, especially when you’ve spent years making memories and plans together. The loss might feel emotionally and physically exhausting. Aside from feeling empty, sadness, and questions of “what ifs” and “whys”, another struggle is how to cope up with loss and be happy again.
And while it’s true that moving on is a hard task, the sadness doesn’t last forever and there are numerous ways to be happy again.
After breakups, some of us want to immediately leave the pain and memories and just move on. But one important step to the healing process is allowing yourself the time to grieve.
Look for safe outlets where you can express your feelings and emotions. Cry about it, acknowledge the hurt, talk to friends, write everything in a journal, or pray to whoever you believe in. If you don’t grieve, you are choosing to carry repressed hurt that will rise and affect any future relationships.
Let it hurt until one day it doesn’t anymore then you know, you are one step closer to healing your broken heart.
Take care of yourself
A breakup, especially with someone who you invested so many feelings into, can result in unanswered questions, self-pity, and self-blame. This could lead to moping for the majority of the day and neglecting one’s well-being. A good number of brokenhearted people do this without them knowing but some do, however, they have no will and energy to go on with their life.
What people need to realize is yes, you’ve broken up with your significant other but don’t ever break up with yourself. Your, yourself, your body, your mental health, your whole being needs to be the most important person of your life.
So despite the ache, take care of yourself. Give yourself time for pampering. Enjoy a hot bath, treat your hair, go for a massage at the spa, rest, and sleep. Be your own significant other.
A strong support system
Heartbreaks and healing become, even just a bit, easier when you surround yourself with a strong support system. Do not underestimate the power of companionship. Embrace the love given by your family and friends. Dote on your pet, cry to them, talk to them about your feelings.
However, avoid revisiting the past. There are instances when talking to your support system leads to you talking about the breakup more. While letting out your feelings and emotions are healthy, endless talks and revisiting old wounds will not help you and your mental health.
Focus on the positive. Talk to them about your plans, go on a day trip with friends and family. Enjoy the present.
Months or years with someone always by your side might mean that you don’t have much time to yourself. But now that the unavoidable breakup has happened, it’ll get quiet and most of the time, you’ll find yourself alone. We advise that you embrace it. Don’t mope, don’t dwell, and welcome solitude.
Give yourself that peaceful moment and be comfortable with your own company. Take a walk under nice weather, cook yourself a grand meal, tend to those flowers you have, and travel alone.
Solitary moments and activities will make you know yourself again and what you were and who you were before getting your heart broken.
Start something new
Those few weeks or months after ending a relationship seems like life has no direction anymore. But remember, the breakup is one closed door but it can also lead to a new open one.
Post-breakup is one of the most perfect times to start something new or pursue a hobby or interest that you’ve been keeping an eye on. You have all your time to yourself and what better way to spend than to explore interesting activities that you’ve never tried before.
Learn to cook, write a book, travel! There is so much more to life than a relationship. Think about what you would like to do and then just do it!
One of the hardest but most fulfilling things to do. When you ended a relationship with someone on a bad note, it’s easy to hold a grudge. After your mourning period, you are suddenly flooded with negative and chaotic emotions. But dwelling on that is not healthy and definitely not good for you.
It’s hard but try to forgive the other party. Try to understand, see things from their perspective, and acknowledge the reason for their decisions. Accept that your relationship is no more and that you don’t have any other reason to hold on to them anymore.
On the other side of the coin, if you are the one who decided to end the relationship or you are blaming yourself for the loss of a significant other, practice self-forgiveness. To be truly happy in life, you first need to forgive yourself.