A Summary of the Video
The documentary video focuses on the context of adult dating, in the premise of originating from a bad childhood. In the course of adult life, there will be periods wherein the person will be greatly involved in a slightly odd, slightly unrepresentative and invariably, a slightly challenging activity which is called looking. Most of the time, the people around a person are a lot wiser that in the long run, they will resort to the action of scanning with the use of their own individual eyes.
The human given action details such as the kind of lunch that we eat, the emails that we send in an email messaging application, and the selection of a place to sit matters a lot to the strangers that surround the individual on a daily basis of observance. Oftentimes, the look given unto an individual by the people around him or her that he or she does not personally know, can cause trauma on their part. It is because a response of being over board can be impactful to the person concerned. With the trauma, comes the humiliating experience of such for the individual as a whole.
This trauma originates from the individual’s traumatic childhood. Because of this origin, it is one aspect that we have not yet fully absorbed and premastered in the context of our individuality. Looks may sometimes be deceiving, but in an in-depth nature, babies seek the feeling of love and to be loved. It is for this reason that they make simple ways of getting the attention of others, just to feel their love. In return, a hand carrying the baby, and the arms wrapped around him or her, is greatly considered by the infant as a safe place to be. With these assurances on hand, the baby is provided with an utmost liberty, to feel a stroke on his or her head, to feel every kiss and soothing caress given to him or her and eventually, being able to suck with his or her mother’s breast given the urgent need for milk.
Overall, these actions matter a lot to the baby because they are looking forward to getting attached with the adult, on the basis of Psychology. Attachment as a process, may not be fully achieved during early childhood, on the basis of being nurtured and employed to the infant for the premises that the primary adult and caregiver of the baby, does not spend time and exert an effort on cuddling the baby, feeding the baby when hungry, the lack of reassurance during the baby’s crying times, the baby’s experience of being clumped in its crib for a long time, and the anger and depression that affects the adult, are the situations that hinder the baby, to receive the attachment, he or she deserves. Because of this drop stitch experienced in early childhood, the child is unable to fulfill and achieve the practice of dating when he or she reaches adulthood.
Early left downs of an individual, results in the negative impact wherein he or she has the hard time to find love. With the search that he or she is involved with, in the name of love, the individual sometimes fears that he or she cannot find love eventually, as he or she views one’s self on a personal level, that love is unsearchable.
For example, a man is attuned with a woman, and thus, leads him to like, admire, be interested and eventually, fall in love with that woman. The challenge would be centralized on the woman, because she cannot reciprocate that love, and in return, may cause the highly interested and deeply in love man, to be hurt and in pain. On the other hand, as an example, in the presence of a susceptible woman to be in love with, the downfalls of men, is that they result in implying tendencies in becoming demanding, uncontained, unreasonable and too urgent with personal requests. These tendencies lead humans as a whole to the inevitable reality of loneliness and continuous self-doubt, whenever an individual portrays his or her liking, interest and love for that specific person, as his or her lifetime continues.
On the basis of not knowing where an individual stands in terms of the aspect of love, it is best that he or she remains to decipher it within one’s self. In addition to this, anxiety and sadness is also experienced whenever an individual starts dating or loving someone. For instance, he or she is texting a specific person, and he or she has not received any reply from the person texted in return, because the concerned person was busy and preoccupied, the ambiguous reality of love and the intent of dating that person are both hampered, thus leading the individual to be anxious and fearful.
But, if ever the person replies and texts back to the individual, sarcasm and anger tops the air, as he or she experienced shame for not being replied to. Reality is, individuals focus on the need to be loved and thus, depressing expressions and cycles should be withheld, if the goal is to attain love. The childhood trauma of being neglected and ignored may have an impact to the present reality that an individual faces as an adult. A connotation of being undeserved to be loved is built.
But on the contrary, if the goal of an individual is to discover the ambiguous realities of adult dating, the goal of every individual should be directed into the path, of closing that chapter of his or her traumatic childhood, and in return, he or she should take a big leap to be positive in finding the right and contemporary love that he or she deserves.
In addition, some poignant causes that a person may not respond to your intent to love are that they may be busy, they have to run an errand, they may be preoccupied or they may be in a state of emergency. It does not follow the concept that you do not exist in their lives, or you do not have any role portrayed in their lifetime. It just clearly depicts the truth that individuals can never expect a direct and true love, in a span of knowing the person concerned in just a matter of 12 hours.
Successful adult dating may be determined, if the individual does not dwell on the following challenges of early childhood and adulthood errands such as intensity, coldness or a lack of judgment. These challenges, believe it or not, have already happened in the past years of an individual’s life. In addition to the premise of adult dating, persons are encouraged to deal with it in the most positive way and not in a manner of demeanor. Say for example, when a man would ask a woman for a date on Friday night, the approach should be gentle and personal, not harsh and demanding. This approach is an indication that an individual has already achieved optimum resiliency as an adult, despite the negative impact that the nursery phase of the individual’s life has brought him or her.
This initiative in return can give the individual an array of personal opportunities such as, an ample time to hope for the best in his or her future, to deal with loneliness yet not for a lifetime because a ringing desire to love is immense in his or heart, to face ambiguous realities that may come along his or her way that would connote the individual’s ability to tolerate ambiguity positively, and to allow things to emerge in his or her life as it is. These opportunities will provide the individual in return, a sense of clarity, a sense of assurance and a sense of belongingness.
A Commentary on the Video
The video depicts the two sides of the human being in its entirety. First, would be the side of being fearful to date and to love. Amidst the challenges that adult dating brings, and the lack of love nurtured into an individual during his or her infancy, it serves as a challenge for an individual to date and to love someone. The second side would be the driving force to date and to love. A nurturing love impacted in the life of an individual during his or her infancy, creates an inspirational touch in their life with an understanding, that he or she deserves to love and to be loved in return, as well as the grandiose opportunity to meet new people and to date someone as well.
The people watching the video will be in agreement, if they will view adult dating and love positively, purposefully and with an open-mind. On the contrary, the people watching the video will be in disagreement, if their outlook with love and adult dating is shallow, blurry and with a close-mind. Furthermore, some points to consider while watching the video will be the fears of adult dating, the joys of adult dating, and some tips to remember for a successful and enjoyable adult dating.
Other Relevant Information Sourced Out from Related Articles that will Add to the Context of the Video
Adult dating is deemed successful for the first time if a man puts his best foot forward when dating a woman that he is highly interested and eventually in love with. Thus, as an aid to men who would love to date their woman of interest for the first time, here are 7 effective tips that men can use and apply to create an eventually successful first time experience of adult dating with a woman, on the basis of what related articles share as follows:
- Always prepare a to-do-list that will aid you in remembering what is essential for your first date.
- Always maintain your composure and just relax.
- Don’t result in losing your sense of self during the dating proper.
- Don’t expect sudden change during the dating process in the perspective of the woman’s feelings for you.
- Learn to confidently trust your manly instincts.
- If a situation connotes that you do not know anything about what is being talked about during your date, never hesitate to ask the woman.
- During your first date, try to loosen up, leave your nutshell of comfort and stand steadfast with your intent.